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I didn't go there...

Updated: Feb 7

The Following is an excerpt from one of our readings entitled "Our Problem."

"For some of us, we believed we had not reached the point of addiction and only struggled with “minor” lustful thoughts and actions. We felt that we could control this lust and it would not become an addiction. However, from the experience of those before us, this is how the addiction began, and those that were able to confront this problem early on spared themselves the pain and suffering brought about by the addiction."

I remember when I first started attending recovery meetings, it wasn’t too long after I first started coming that I had the opportunity to hear my first few First Steps.

I remember I sat in one first step and I keep saying to myself things like “I’m glad I didn’t go that far…” or “man I am not as messed up as he is” then I began to reflect back on my own mistakes and how far they had taken me.

It was then that I felt an old familiar tug on my heart and clearly felt God remind me “But for my Grace, goes you.”

I began to weep in the middle of that meeting that night.

As I snapped my attention back to the meeting, I heard him say “my addiction drove me to ___” I wept bitterly, uttering under my breath “Thank you for keeping me from that.”

He named another of the hard places his addiction had driven him “again I said, “I’m grateful I my addiction hadn’t gotten me there, yet...”

I didn't go ___, but I was far too close... Thank you Jesus. I didn't do ____, but I was only a click away... by God's grace, I didn't go there. My addiction cost me ___, but it didn't cost that... I am grateful.

You see after each of those places those deep dark places someone’s addiction had taken them, I should have said yet when I expressed gratitude for my addiction not having gone that far.

We're all just one mistake away from losing our place in the so-called "Church Elite" each of us are one slip up from our world, our marriage, our livelihood falling completely apart and becoming the target of criticism and idle talk.

No matter how "far" we went in our addiction, we can all thank God that we did not go further.

Today I thank God for the path I have been put on since joining recovery, it is a different path, a better healthier path, one that still has the same winds, potholes and detours as life had before, I've just learned a better way.

My Name is Dean P, I am a grateful believer in Christ Jesus, striving for Moral and Sexual Purity.

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